A place of my own

I have been part of the working force for quite a number of years. I pay my taxes diligently, and I am a law abiding citizen. I rarely drive higher than the speed limit and I pay the parking guard. I am a grown ass woman, who has been engaged already. I am godmother to an amazing little boy and I have the greatest friends a person could ask for. I live in a beautiful country, in the lovely town that is its capital. And still there's this one BIG thorn in my side - the fact that I am STILL paying another person's mortgage instead of my own!

I hate renting! I hate the fact that it's not my place. I would LOVE to paint the walls for instance, but I can't since it's not my own. And acquiring my own little place in the sun here in Windhoek is starting to seem impossible, unless I get such a fat raise that I faint at the mention of the numbers! The housing index in this city is ridiculous. We have grown ups still living with their parents - not because they still want to, but because their options are severely limited. Finding property, whether it's a house or a flat, for under half a million bucks is close to IMPOSSIBLE. You who say that I'm wrong - take me to the house that is cheaper!!

Now, recently FNB proclaimed that at least 300 houses must be made available this year so as to keep the housing prices steady. Three hundred?? Who are they kidding? THOUSANDS of people would love to own property, the demand is soooo much bigger than they can imagine. But the supply is kept small, plots are sold in droves to property developers at public auction, who drive up the bidding price to such a degree that no normal human being can afford to partake. These same developers then go and construct houses that all look the same (very Stepford) and sell it to the public at exorbitant prices, that again, no normal individual can afford. It even appears that buying property, any property, only becomes feasible once married, which ticks me off even more. I'm single and I want my own place!! Without selling my soul for it.

People, I'm sitting with my hands in my hair, the situation is driving me crazy! This post is me ranting and raving, and also asking - does anyone know what we can do to CHANGE the status quo? Currently I have no solution, but maybe if heads are put together, this travesty can be put to an end. So...anyone has any bright ideas??

The sick joke that is an election year

One of the inevitable issues of modern times, and especially in current times, is politics. Each day we inch closer to the national elections and already, even though we still have a ways to go, possible candidates are campaigning at a fast and furious pace. Of course, regarding these candidates, they're all within the same political party and are hoping for the top party spot, which in this country practically means ending up as Head of State. Which in my mind is a sad state of affairs, the fact that the majority party and candidates within that party are all so filled with confidence, have faith in their imminent victory. And why? Because the sheep have been voting for them indiscriminately for the past 22 years. 

I simply cannot understand why the voting public does not insist that candidates actively debate on the issues. These candidate play on the sentimentality of their supporters, for all that it's worth. How much longer would we have to hear about the struggle? About how they were pat and partial to the liberation of our country? how much longer will it be ignored that we all still very much in bondage? I am a young woman that grew up in a "free" and independent country, who will always be reminded by my ancestors about how lucky I am that I live in a country where your worth is not determined by my gender or the colour of my skin. So often I want to shout at these same ancestors and tell them that they are spewing lies. Sure, through their eyes I live a better life, a non-discriminatory life, but I still experience discrimination and bondage, the biggest of which is financial. 

Here's how I see it - I live in the capital of my country, the economic hub, and still I struggle to make ends meet. Sure, I'm not part of the indigent, I am blessed enough to not live in squalor. That does not demean the fact that it is a daily struggle for me to move beyond the lower middle class where I feel I've been stuck for the past 7 years of my working life. Now imagine how it must feel for those who are truly indigent, who live below the bread line, who doesn't struggle to move up in the world, but to simply make it through the day. the biggest irony? The poor, the struggling, the hopeless, the helpless, are the ones who still cling to the liberation politics spewed during an election year. They are the ones who cling to the fact that they were "liberated" by the majority party, whilst in reality, they are in bondage as much as they were 22 years ago. Sure, there are exceptions to the rule. The Cinderella stories that warm hearts and give hope to the still struggling, but these are few and far between. Then of course there are those who are given "golden" handshakes by the powers that be, because they were in exile during the struggle, or they were born in exile, or they are the children of struggle veterans. Ironically, so many of those who were in exile had opportunities provided to them not readily available to those who stayed in Namibia, who never left, who had to deal with their daily circumstances. The rest of us mere mortals - if we don't put our noses to the grindstone day in and day out, we can kiss our dreams goodbye. But that's not even what irks me the most. 

What irks me the most is the fact that I wonder what benefits the indigents, who cling to the majority party, who still swallow the liberation politics, have received. How many of their children, those who were "born free" are living a better life than they did? How many of their children, capable and willing, could afford tertiary education, so as to not just better themselves, but also for the benefit of their community? How many of them have risen above the lifestyle they were living during that very first election? Or are they still living in shacks and cleaning other people's homes? Do any of them ever ask crucial questions during elections or do they accept that the power simply continue to lay in the hands of the few? 

Here's the joke - EVEN IF THEY ASK THE QUESTIONS they won't be getting any real answers!!! There are no public debates between election candidates in this country. I haven't seen one yet, and for the time being, I won't be holding my breath. And it is one of my biggest wishes - a debate on a public forum with an INDEPENDENT moderator on the ISSUES. Issues such as the fact that there was a teachers strike and NO ONE walked away satisfied. Issues such as rampant domestic abuse and the fact that the system are not helping the victims satisfactorily e.g. it takes an average of 10 days for an ISSUED protection order to be served on the abuser. SO MUCH can happen in ten days. Issues such as the fact that the police often don't have a vehicle to their disposal to deal with distress calls. I was once standing outside of a locked house as my friend was being attacked. The police arrived more than an HOUR after we called them, and we called them every 5 minutes to find out what's taking so long. Why are we living in a city where the pizza delivery guy is quicker than the cops??? And why is not being dealt with at ministerial level? Some days I feel it's because government simply does not care! Issues such as the fact that small business owners get little to no support from government, and the banks don't help that much either, because small to the man on the street equals worthless to the bank's Business Loan department, and why on earth invest in what you regard as worthless. The issue of a 51% unemployment rate - what on God's green earth is Government even ATTEMPTING to do to rectify that hot mess?? From what I've seen so far in the papers and o the news - sweet blue nothing. And the candidates aren't even touching on it. 

So many problems, so many issues, so little being done. We read about the corruption and the violence and the poverty in our papers every damn day. We talk about the fact that Government needs to be transparent and be held accountable for their failures. But come election year, all of those complaints (to a LOT of people) go straight out the window. Then it's all about the struggle, liberation politics and the little that has been accomplished in the past 22 years (and it's not much). Then it's shouts of "Viva" at rallies and through the streets. Party flags are hoisted on rooftops and flyers and posters cover our city walls, cover the abject poverty of many, cover the disgust of others, cover the truth so painfully apparent the minute the last ballot is ticket and the results are in. And then again, those who have been in the plush velvet seats remain there while so many of try to rise above the soot. 

What peace?

I myself am no saint, but the lack of moral compass in the younger generation today astounds me. The fact that it seems as if deeds are committed, awful, horrendous crimes without impunity. New born babies are dumped and murdered, women are killed by jealous boyfriends/husbands, little gangs are roving the streets breaking into cars and we all stand by, shocked and disgusted, but pulling up our shoulders when someone asks for suggestions for a solution. 

So many people are occupying themselves with attempting to solve "the problems of the world". they preoccupy themselves with the wars in the Middle East, the nuclear programs of various countries and global warming. Yes, these are worthy issues, but currently I feel that the man on the street needs to rather occupy himself first with the issues on the ground, the issues that he stares at day in and day out and ask himself what can be done to improve the current state of society, of his immediate community. 

Why are there are so many young women who are in "relationships" not based on true feelings of affection and love, but based on what the man can provide on a monetary level? Why do these girls feel the need to have a man provide for them financially while not being emotionally committed to said man? Is it any surprise that these men end up hurting these very girls when they leave them, or cheat on them? These women have created the illusion that they "belong" to these men, and consequently the men feel that they have every right to do as they please with their "property". At a grass roots level, young ladies need to stop seeing men as a walking talking wallet. Secondly, there is nothing cute or endearing about a young girl on the arm of an old man. Chick, if he's old enough to be your dad, WALK AWAY. Thirdly, men must stop praying on the vulnerability and naivety of some of these girls. Dude, if she's old enough to be your daughter, WALK AWAY. 

On the same wavelength, more and more often the headlines of the daily newspapers include the discovery of the body of a newborn baby, dumped by it's mother, essentially killed by the very woman who brought it into this world in the first place. Why is this happening more frequently? Why are women getting pregnant in the first place and then leave the baby in the closest nearest dumpster? It appears so callous and cold. Essentially, one of the major questions is, despite the sexual revolution of the past two to three decades, why aren't so many women not taking care of themselves and their bodies? 

Like I stated above, I am no saint, but it does grieve me to see young girls being the sexual predators. And ladies, men does NOT say no to something offered up on a silver platter. They see it as taking a break, as being a little lazy. And they take what they want and walk away. And the girl is the one who might end up with an STD or a bun in the oven. The girl who can barely look after herself and now feels that she's up against the wall. She might feel that she can't tell her parents as it would bring shame over the family. She might even still be in school, and as such a pregnancy would jeopardize her entire future. She might not even know for sure who the father is, which in itself raises problems. And because she feels that she has nowhere to turn, she "gets rid of the problem" in an absolutely despicable manner. Does she feel shame? Does she feel guilty? Why not rather have the delivery a a hospital and then simply walk away if you so wish to be unburdened? 

The above mentioned problems aren't the ones that need to be tackled, but they have been splashed across the front pages at such a frequent pace that they particularly plague me, and represent the decay of our society, of our moral compass. Regardless of culture or religion, each one of us know the difference between right and wrong. And yet there are so many that flout the rules to a degree that simply puts more and more human lives in danger. Is this what we are becoming? Is the human race hell bent on self destruction? The grass roots need to be dealt with and the moral compass of society realigned. For how can we even THINK about dealing with the issue of world peace, if peace does not reign in the house next door?

Having class, taste and style

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending a lovey party where the theme of the evening was Top Hats, Heels and Cigars. There was a red carpet and complimentary champagne. There were live performances and hot music pumped by the DJ. It was supposed to be an evening filled with class. Unfortunately the CLASS was few and far between. There were guys running around in jeans and t-shirts. Really?? EVERYONE watches How I met Your Mother - has Barney Stinson not taught you guys anything?? Suits are cool, suits are sexy, girls LIKE guys in a SUIT! It is unacceptable to come to a party which has a DRESS CODE and not be dressed accordingly! 

But men, especially young guys (the biggest perpetrators were a couple of VERY young gents that still have the blood of teenagers running through their veins) did not commit the worst sin of classlessness. That sin was committed by FEMALES, and I was disgusted and ashamed (The classy ladies in my company felt the same way as me). Girls were running around in hooker heels, in outfits that had their asses hanging out and their boobs popping out, all at the same time. They looked like hookers, and unfortunately it seems that it's the trend in this city - when you go out, dress like a complete and utter whore, and then get offended when somebody calls you a slut or a whore and insist that you're a lady. Bull!! If you want to be seen as and considered a lady, dress and act like one! Don't have all your lady bits out for show; leave a little something to the imagination. Or do you prefer to look like an extra in a porno movie? Not even in the fashion pages do you see models showing it all, because it is simply NOT stylish. 

Women lament the fact that they do not receive respect from men, nor admiration from women. But how can you expect that when you do not even have enough respect for yourself and your body? As a woman, you are a goddess, you are a queen. You should treat yourself as such if you wish for others to treat you and if you adorn yourself with the garments of a prostitute, why do you act surprised if a man treats you as such?

Men lament the same lack of respect, but then I ask, how can others respect you when you walk around looking like a little boy? Sure, maybe you have MUCH more going on beneath the surface and are worthy of respect and admiration, but someone who meets you for the first time wouldn't know it because you look like the equivalent of a nice present wrapped in newspaper or brown paper or a black plastic bag. 

People need to start respecting themselves to the degree that on first contact those who meet them for the first time respects them too. They need to conduct themselves as kings and queens and they will then be treated as such. Having class, taste and style does not have to cost anyone an arm or a leg. So please, get yourselves some!

Being a grown-up

At some stage one must decide whether or not you perceive yourself to be a grown up. And only once you comprehend how deep the definition of being a grown up goes can you actually honestly proclaim whether you belong to this sub sect of the human population.

In legal terms, it's fairly easy, depending on where you live. At either 18 or 21, in most places around the globe, you begin your journey as an adult. You can smoke, drive, drink and sign legal documents. And the majority of us celebrate reaching this age, and often times we do things to prove our independence and maturity, which, in hindsight, were not mature at all! We started doing things simply because we could. We ignored our parents' advice, we got ourselves into debt, we made mistakes, and we made them thick and fast. And if we were ever questioned then we would react defiantly and shout to the heavens "I am an adult, stop telling me what to do!" And so often one then ended up doing something regrettable.

I think one can consider yourself a grown up when you own up to your mistakes and take responsibility, true responsibility. One is a grown up when the blame shifting ends and one is true with oneself, about the big things and the little things. One is grown up not simply because one has to now pay bills and work a job. One becomes a grown up when you realise that your actions affect far more than just yourself and you thus act accordingly. This is what makes being a grown up really sucky sometimes, as petulance and selfishness shouldn't be part of the bigger make up of a grown up. (Which is also why I know many so called "adults" who in my mind are mere children)

There are perks though to being a grown up though, as there is to anything in life. The parties, the impromptu road trips, the sex, the freedom to walk around naked in your house, the money, the opportunities that a kid can only dream of. Only as a grown up can you appreciate the truth and honesty of life, and only as a grown up can you see the real value of friendship and love. Being a grown up can be a bitch sometimes, and often I think of myself as a girl, instead of a woman, as being a woman means that I'm a grown up, and I still like partying and acting like a 21 year old. The truth however is that I am a grown up, and most of the time it's so much better than being a naive child.

Desperation has its own song!

Okay, so, this little melody has climbed up the charts, is a complete EAR WORM and has made the singer super famous super fast. In my opinion though it is bad. How bad? I change radio stations when it comes on. How bad? There was this awesome compilation album that I wanted, but I refrained from buying it because this song was one of the tracks on a two disk album. Yes, that is how much I despise Carly Rae Jepson's "Call Me Maybe".

Don't get me wrong, it has all the elements of a one hit wonder - young pretty girl, catchy melody, very easy to remember lyrics, and therein lies the problem - the lyrics of that damn chorus! It just sounds like the epitome of desperation to me.

Here's how I see it - girl meets boy,  girl likes boy, clearly more than boy likes girl. Girl makes her intentions and feelings clear to boy within the first five minutes of knowing him, giving her number, and then says "call me maybe" It all stinks to holy hell of desperation. Most men would take it as an invitation to shag her and then go on his merry way. And then she'll be all hurt and crying, but in my opinion it would be her own damn fault, she gave it to him on a silver platter! He didn't ask for her number, he didn't indicate that he wants to call her or see her again, he didn't even fully indicate that he likes her that way!! But she went ahead and gave her number away like a piece of candy, opening herself up to a world of hurt.

Either that...or I'm missing something...which I doubt. Essentially, this is the song that pre-teens and teens are listening to and singing along to, and being the impressionable little souls that they are, in next to no time we'll have twelve year old's giving their numbers to boys cooing "call me maybe" which will lead to an entire generational problem. I shudder just imagining it.

In conclusion, for the love of Zeus, can this song get less airplay??? The message is not as cute as y'all think!

Vampires and werewolves

One of the biggest selling franchises in the past ten years is that of the Twilight Saga, both in book sales and at the box office. Twihards everywhere are in anticipation for the last installment of the movie series, which is premiering in November 2012. Besides Twilight, True Blood and the Vampire Diaries, also both based off best sellers, are very highly ranked television shows. 

What all three of the above have in common - vampires and werewolves, essentially bloodsuckers and shape shifters. I love all of the above. I don't care if other people hate on it, I'm a fan. But it's also a phenomenon. So many shows, so many films, so many books with these common denominators? I mean, back in the day, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was unique to prime time television. Today, the vamps and wolves are everywhere, and one has to wonder why. 

Is it because of the immortality angle? Are we, as a public, as a society, as the human race, so fascinated now with immortality that we can imagine ourselves being vampires? 

Is it because of the blood lust and the fact that the main protagonists in all of the above wish to maintain a tight reign and control over this lust, over their primal need to feed? Are we as a race feeling out of control and thus need to witness someone, or something, exert an almost supernatural level of control over a base instinct? 

Is it because of the shifting aspect within the wolves? Are we perhaps also in constant battles with ourselves, presenting one image to the world whilst another, darker self longs to emerge? 

Is it because of the sex appeal? True Blood has some intense sex scenes, Twilight and Diaries have managed to find some of the most beautiful people in Hollywood to cast and in each one the same thread runs - love between a vamp and a human. 

Is it because of the love triangles evident in EVERY single story? Bella, Edward, Jacob. Sookie, Bill, Eric/Alcide. Elena, Stefan, Damon. It's a common denominator, and we eat it up! 

Maybe at the end of the day it's because vampires and werewolves ACTUALLY exist. Just not in the guises presented to us by Hollywood. They exist in the form of fake friends. The exist in the form hypocritical colleagues and bosses. They exist in the form of lying, stealing, corrupt politicians. They exist in the form of needy family members. They exist in the form of two faced bitches and double crossing assholes. They are REAL, and Hollywood is cashing in, and we're not even realizing it.