Being a grown-up

At some stage one must decide whether or not you perceive yourself to be a grown up. And only once you comprehend how deep the definition of being a grown up goes can you actually honestly proclaim whether you belong to this sub sect of the human population.

In legal terms, it's fairly easy, depending on where you live. At either 18 or 21, in most places around the globe, you begin your journey as an adult. You can smoke, drive, drink and sign legal documents. And the majority of us celebrate reaching this age, and often times we do things to prove our independence and maturity, which, in hindsight, were not mature at all! We started doing things simply because we could. We ignored our parents' advice, we got ourselves into debt, we made mistakes, and we made them thick and fast. And if we were ever questioned then we would react defiantly and shout to the heavens "I am an adult, stop telling me what to do!" And so often one then ended up doing something regrettable.

I think one can consider yourself a grown up when you own up to your mistakes and take responsibility, true responsibility. One is a grown up when the blame shifting ends and one is true with oneself, about the big things and the little things. One is grown up not simply because one has to now pay bills and work a job. One becomes a grown up when you realise that your actions affect far more than just yourself and you thus act accordingly. This is what makes being a grown up really sucky sometimes, as petulance and selfishness shouldn't be part of the bigger make up of a grown up. (Which is also why I know many so called "adults" who in my mind are mere children)

There are perks though to being a grown up though, as there is to anything in life. The parties, the impromptu road trips, the sex, the freedom to walk around naked in your house, the money, the opportunities that a kid can only dream of. Only as a grown up can you appreciate the truth and honesty of life, and only as a grown up can you see the real value of friendship and love. Being a grown up can be a bitch sometimes, and often I think of myself as a girl, instead of a woman, as being a woman means that I'm a grown up, and I still like partying and acting like a 21 year old. The truth however is that I am a grown up, and most of the time it's so much better than being a naive child.

Desperation has its own song!

Okay, so, this little melody has climbed up the charts, is a complete EAR WORM and has made the singer super famous super fast. In my opinion though it is bad. How bad? I change radio stations when it comes on. How bad? There was this awesome compilation album that I wanted, but I refrained from buying it because this song was one of the tracks on a two disk album. Yes, that is how much I despise Carly Rae Jepson's "Call Me Maybe".

Don't get me wrong, it has all the elements of a one hit wonder - young pretty girl, catchy melody, very easy to remember lyrics, and therein lies the problem - the lyrics of that damn chorus! It just sounds like the epitome of desperation to me.

Here's how I see it - girl meets boy,  girl likes boy, clearly more than boy likes girl. Girl makes her intentions and feelings clear to boy within the first five minutes of knowing him, giving her number, and then says "call me maybe" It all stinks to holy hell of desperation. Most men would take it as an invitation to shag her and then go on his merry way. And then she'll be all hurt and crying, but in my opinion it would be her own damn fault, she gave it to him on a silver platter! He didn't ask for her number, he didn't indicate that he wants to call her or see her again, he didn't even fully indicate that he likes her that way!! But she went ahead and gave her number away like a piece of candy, opening herself up to a world of hurt.

Either that...or I'm missing something...which I doubt. Essentially, this is the song that pre-teens and teens are listening to and singing along to, and being the impressionable little souls that they are, in next to no time we'll have twelve year old's giving their numbers to boys cooing "call me maybe" which will lead to an entire generational problem. I shudder just imagining it.

In conclusion, for the love of Zeus, can this song get less airplay??? The message is not as cute as y'all think!

Vampires and werewolves

One of the biggest selling franchises in the past ten years is that of the Twilight Saga, both in book sales and at the box office. Twihards everywhere are in anticipation for the last installment of the movie series, which is premiering in November 2012. Besides Twilight, True Blood and the Vampire Diaries, also both based off best sellers, are very highly ranked television shows. 

What all three of the above have in common - vampires and werewolves, essentially bloodsuckers and shape shifters. I love all of the above. I don't care if other people hate on it, I'm a fan. But it's also a phenomenon. So many shows, so many films, so many books with these common denominators? I mean, back in the day, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was unique to prime time television. Today, the vamps and wolves are everywhere, and one has to wonder why. 

Is it because of the immortality angle? Are we, as a public, as a society, as the human race, so fascinated now with immortality that we can imagine ourselves being vampires? 

Is it because of the blood lust and the fact that the main protagonists in all of the above wish to maintain a tight reign and control over this lust, over their primal need to feed? Are we as a race feeling out of control and thus need to witness someone, or something, exert an almost supernatural level of control over a base instinct? 

Is it because of the shifting aspect within the wolves? Are we perhaps also in constant battles with ourselves, presenting one image to the world whilst another, darker self longs to emerge? 

Is it because of the sex appeal? True Blood has some intense sex scenes, Twilight and Diaries have managed to find some of the most beautiful people in Hollywood to cast and in each one the same thread runs - love between a vamp and a human. 

Is it because of the love triangles evident in EVERY single story? Bella, Edward, Jacob. Sookie, Bill, Eric/Alcide. Elena, Stefan, Damon. It's a common denominator, and we eat it up! 

Maybe at the end of the day it's because vampires and werewolves ACTUALLY exist. Just not in the guises presented to us by Hollywood. They exist in the form of fake friends. The exist in the form hypocritical colleagues and bosses. They exist in the form of lying, stealing, corrupt politicians. They exist in the form of needy family members. They exist in the form of two faced bitches and double crossing assholes. They are REAL, and Hollywood is cashing in, and we're not even realizing it. 

A generation who needs to READ

I love to read. I've loved reading since the before the majority of my peers could spell. Yes, I'm bragging a little, but the truth cannot be denied. I love reading everything. From the critically acclaimed to the type of literature that critics and other authors pull their noses up to. I love the Harry Potter novels (and the subsequent films, although they're never as good as the books) and I love the Twilight series (Yes, I do, and so what?) I love Stephen King and Dean Koontz and John Grisham, although I must confess that John Grisham has taken hold of a larger chunk of my heart many many years ago. I love the fact that I can curl up with a cup of hot chocolate and immerse myself i a world, not of my own making, but where my own imagination can take flight and I perceive the characters and the places described in the manner of my own choosing. I have not had the chance to read the Hunger Games, but I wish to read it before even thinking of watching the film. It's a matter of principle.

And thus comes my biggest pet peeve. The fans of different novel series' and different authors hating on each other and not being able to give credit where credit is due. People, the world is suffering from a dire illness, that of illiteracy. The PlayStations and X-Boxes have taken over and despite rampant piracy, films continue to rake in millions at the box office. Children don't read anymore and basic reading and writing aren't prerequisites in the early years of school anymore. Hell, these days there are schools using IPads as learning tools instead of actual textbooks. We have living among us right now the generation which don't know the concept of a library, that does not know the feeling of opening a crisp new book, or carefully paging through an old one, the smell of paper and ink wafting through their nostrils. These are the same children who could reprogram their parents cellphones but who can't spell to save their life, the same generation who feels that it's acceptable to "wrt lk dis". I HATE THAT SHIT!!! 

It seems as if the world is getting dumber, but in the same breath people hate on books and fans of those books because apparently it's not "good writing". WHO GIVES A CRAP? People are reading!! I don't care if you're reading Tolkien's The Hobbit or Fifty Shades of Grey, the point is I applaud whoever actually picks up an ACTUAL book and reads, immersing them in the world of their CHOOSING. I pity anyone who would rather see the film than read the book, and I especially pity anyone who, when asked what their favorite book is, gives the name of a damn MAGAZINE. Really???

This is the time that we need to realise that we can and should improve ourselves on a daily basis. We need to improve our general knowledge. Go to Quiz nights and play 30 Seconds. We need to improve our vocabulary. We must READ and fill in crossword puzzles. We must STOP looking down at the so-called nerd or geek. At the end of the day the one who continues to improve him or herself, in whatever way, will be the one signing everybody else's paychecks. So STOP hating on someone because she reads the book about the sparkly vampire, or the mommy porn, or the book about magic and dragons. Stop hating on the one who likes reading biographies and the Guinness Book of World Records and new age philosophy. Stop hating on the For Dummies books and actually read a couple, you might LEARN something. Stop hating on the one that would take out books at the local library rather than buy a Kindle or whatever other kind of e-reader. Stop hating on the writers (and readers) of fan fiction. Damnit, it's fun! And stop thinking that you are above improving yourself, or above steering others to find a little self-improvement, believe me you're NOT. And  all you have to do at the end of the day is pick up a BOOK.   

Unreasonable expectations...or are they really?

I have been watching Supernatural every day for the past few weeks, and I have developed a nice schoolgirl crush on Dean Winchester, as played by Jensen Ackles. I think that he is beyond adorable, and I can gush like a little girl about this man that doesn't exist. Which started me thinking...am I not perhaps setting myself up for disappointment in my next relationship already by starting to dream of the qualities within a fictional character?

In all seriousness, we have been brought up to have unrealistic expectations our entire lives, at least us girls. From the minute that we have any kind of understanding our mothers start reading us fairy tales. Everything from Snow White to Sleeping Beauty to The Princess and the Pea and Cinderella. In the majority of these fairy tales there is a Prince Charming who ends up "rescuing" the "damsel in distress" and then they live happily ever after. So for YEARS girls look forward to meeting their Prince Charming, being swept off their feet and living happily ever after.

And then reality hits. And we realize that there is no such thing as a Prince Charming. Neither is there an Edward Cullen (for the Twihards out there). What is out there are real people, with flaws and issues and baggage. We shouldn't be surprised to find this. We need to be real with ourselves and admit that the damn fairy tale is not going to happen, for none of us. And when you think you know of a fairy tale couple - it's a lie, a pretty facade, essentially they know how to WORK it! Also, Romeo and Juliet was not the most beautiful love story, it ended with everybody DYING. Thank you, but I still have a lot of life to live!

Now to get back to what I said about Dean. This man is NO Prince Charming. He can be selfish and self centered, as well as domineering and condescending. In the same breath he values family and friendship; he's brave and has a LOT of leadership qualities, and so far, whenever he interacts with a woman, he's a gentleman. So, no, maybe these expectations aren't unreasonable, because although he's a fictional character, he is far from perfect.

Looks can be deceiving...

This morning the finalists of our national beauty pageant were announced, all beautiful young women with sparkling eyes and wide open smiles. Three specifically jumped out for me, one looking the most natural, one looking a little more exotic and poised and one who simply has a very pretty, honest looking face and thus looked the friendliest.


But that is just it...is she actually friendly? Are the other two actually poised and natural respectively? Or will we find out later that the friendly looking one is a bit of a snob, the poised one a loudmouth and the natural one has had a boob job? I'm not claiming that any of these girls are not who and what they claim, but we have seen that the pageant world, regardless of the country it's held in is often fraught with tension, high in emotion and has many closets containing many skeletons, the most recent local scandal of course being the winner being stripped of our title due to it being discovered that she was indeed married, and it that regard even she wasn't alone. Drinking underage and doing drugs have come to light for another queen, although she was lucky enough to have been given a second chance and retain her title. 


Regardless of any of the above, many girls still enter pageants with big dreams of being the next Miss World or Miss Universe, followed by lucrative modeling and acting careers, fame, money and glory. They disregard the critics who yell that pageants are misogynistic. They have dreams and often feel that winning a pageant can set them on the right path, as has happened with many before. They've seen other women run successful businesses after getting their foot in the door thanks to winning pageants. And sometimes, their dreams do come true. On the flip side, pageants can be a door to ruin. 


So what am I saying? What I'm saying is that I've known a few queens in my life. Some have egos so big I find it miraculous that they can enter a room through a normal door. Others are so humble and enjoy the ride while still having their own plans that they made years before entering the pageant. I know of one or two who still wishes to be regarded as a queen, years after building a life away from a stage and evening gowns. I know of others who never took it seriously to begin with and are happier than most. And I know of a couple who did follow the modeling/acting/business/fame and glory route and are not doing too shabbily. What is most honest though is that the girl you see on stage, and on the catwalk, and the girl you run into the next day as she's buying catfood at the local grocery store essentially is the same girl. Your perception of her however may be a WHOLLY different story. 


At the end of the day - to all the pretty ladies, good luck, and have fun. 

Amazing talent

It's truly amazing how people buy into the hype. Here in my town are so called artists, who play music only their peers listen to and in a language that is not spoken anywhere else on earth. They have local appeal and local flavor. Unfortunately they also think that they are super stars who should be up for Grammy awards soon, whilst I strongly believe that THAT will never happen. in this small pond they have been the big fish for years, and along with it have engaged in behaviour that would put Paris, Kim K, Kanye and countless others to shame. They're not close to Hollywood and still they act Hollywood.

Thank the heavens for the fresh talent that are making their voices heard, and making them heard with a bang. Ladies and gentleman who are truly talented, but remain humble. Their lyrics are profound and the melodies sweep you away. They have true international appeal, and yet they still have local flavor, without selling out to the masses of our little pond. They respond to their inner voice and to the message that they actually want to bring, and because one can feel their souls resonate in their music a connection occurs. That connection is the TRUE appeal of these talents, of these musos and artists, of these lyricists and singers.

I am sending it out to the universe that these amazing talents receive every opportunity which will allow the rest of the world to connect with their music and with their words. I consider it an honor that we, in our own little pond, got to hear it first.