The rape of politics

Politics in its pure form, in the way intended and envisioned by philosophers such as Plato and Socrates, is a beautiful thing. It raises societies to new heights and it focuses on harmonious living. However, that statement describes a utopia that I can only dream of seeing due to the fact that the current status quo of politics is that it has been raped beyond recognition. A truly honest man struggles in the arena of modern politics. Before long, honest men are corrupted by the system, by whispers of power and pockets of money. Taxes are abused and "normal" people are crushed beneath the feet of the fat cats. And honestly, I have had it. 

Thoughts of entering the political arena have crossed my mind more than once in my young life and for the simple reason that I believe that a better life is owed to the generations that pass this earth after my bones have turned to dust beneath their feet. 

It is not fair that those who can't afford private schools and thus attend public government schools receive a sub-par education due to the fact that sufficient funds from the government coffers aren't allocated for sufficient textbooks, class rooms, teachers, educational aids like computers, photo copiers, printers, stationary, I can go on ad infinitum. 

It is not fair that no normal human being that works an 8-5 job can afford to buy a house of his own because the house prices are so ridiculously high that any mortgage they qualify for will be insufficient. Why can't the tax dollars, which is used to rename streets in honor of the STILL LIVING or in honor of VIP's of OTHER countries, be used for decent housing projects? Why can't there be rules at public auctions that limit the power of property developers, who essentially bid so high on newly declared erven that ordinary mortals can never match it? Consequently same developers then proceed to erect properties and offer it for sale at such ridiculous prices that only the rich and the wealthy can afford to buy it. How is it fair that those in most need are the ones who are ignored, shoved, pushed and generally stomped on?

It is not fair that insufficient money is provided to the State hospitals so that in turn this countries own sons and daughters who have studied medicine to not practice at these hospitals but flee to private practice, because that's where the money's at, and subsequently our people are treated by foreigners whose medical training have in the past been pulled into question. 

It is not fair that law abiding citizens live in fortified homes as if it's Fort Knox in fear from being robbed, raped or murdered. It is not fair that we live in a country with very high levels of violent crime whilst the national Police are over worked and underpaid. In addition, cops can't even do their jobs properly sometimes due to lack of funds from the government coffers which translate to lack of vehicles, radios, even simple things like stationary at stations. We expect these men and women in uniform to perform their duties well whilst their salaries won't be able to pay the rent to a one bedroom apartment. We expect them to protect and serve us, but we do not champion for them. For shame!!

It is not fair that once the criminals are caught by overworked, underpaid police, that the courts and judiciary lack the resources to have justice done swiftly and efficiently. It is also not fair that once said criminals are actually behind bars for atrocities such as murder and rape that they have the opportunity to be back on the streets in normal society in a few years. It is not fair that the goals of sentencing- retribution, deterrence, rehabilitation, restoration and incapacitation, are not attained in the manner foreseen by the science of criminology. 

But you know what is the least fair? That we, as citizens, as societies, as communities, know ALL of this, SEE all of this, and moan and complain and criticize but do not put hand in own breast. Has there ever been a 100% voter turnout at elections? NO. Do we actually demand debates on the issues during elections? NO. Do we actually attend public town and city council meetings? NO. Do we write to the leaders in the political arena regarding our grievances? NO. We write to newspapers and whisper among ourselves. When we DO complain in a proper manner, do we actually do our research properly beforehand? NO. We complain based on our feelings, which is insufficient. Apathy is the glove in which the devil puts his hand and with which he corrupts. And that is how, we, as the people, have raped politics. 

Privacy and the invasion thereof

Privacy. These days it appears that the mere word can cause thorns to erupt where you thought only pretty flowers and soft grass grew. No person wants to have their privacy violated, each and every individual treasured their privacy. However, what part of your life is truly private these days? We have social networks and blogs, where we so very often post private thoughts and feelings from the deepest recesses of our minds for the entire world to see. We give people access to the details of our lives which could lead even to us experiencing dangerous situations. 

On MySpace, Facebook and Twitter we so often post where we live and work, where we have lived and worked in the past, who our family is, how old we are, whether we're romantically involved, holy hell, whether or not we have a pet and what our favorite movies are. We send out all this information and if we're not careful (i.e. check your privacy settings every now and then) all of this information can be used against us. what follows is that we scream that our privacy has been invaded. WHAT PRIVACY?? You put it out there, you weren't diligent in keeping your emotions to yourself. Goodness, I can go on Facebook and tell from their status updates who is feeling vulnerable and depressed today! 

I am also guilty of all of the above, except that I am quite anal about my privacy settings and which friend requests I accept. On the other hand, I try to keep my emotions in check when trolling the social networks, since one never knows what can be used against you. And finally, those truly private moments, I treasure with fervor. The ten minutes that I'm all alone in my car whilst driving to the shop. The half an hour that I lie in bed alone and talk to God. The fifteen minutes I spend on the can. The talks I have with my dearest friends. That has got NOTHING to do with anyone. And since we, as a society, seem so intent on broadcasting our lives as if we were on a reality television show, I feel that we must truly appreciate the real private moments and be honest with ourselves regarding our claims to privacy in the digital age. 

Love means never having to say you're sorry

The saying goes "love means never having to say you're sorry". What in the world does this mean? Where in the world does it come from? And how many problems has it not caused? 

First things first, "Love means never having to say you're sorry" is a line from the novel and 1970 film Love Story starring Ali MacGraw and Ryan O'Neal. So, essentially it's a cheesy movie quote from a romantic comedy that's over 40 years old. 


Secondly, in my opinion, as a stand alone line, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," seems hollow and useless at best, and just plain contradictory to the truth of loving relationships, at worst. Having never seen Love Story, maybe I will never be able to put it in its intended context, but the line is used more often than not as a stand alone without any specific context. 


Thirdly, if someone were to use this line as an excuse to not apologize for their wrongdoings and to not atone for their mistakes, then the line has nothing to do with love and everything to do with self interest and pride. 


However, what if one travels beyond the literal and dig a little deeper beneath the words of this quote which, in my mind, has been abused by lovers everywhere? What if the lesson is forgiveness? What if true love means that forgiveness can reign even before the one who is being forgiven has had the opportunity to apologize for whatever transgression they have committed? 


I believe that love actually means that once you realize that you have hurt a loved one, or acted against the interests of a loved one, or was just being a jerk, that you will quickly be filled with remorse and it will be easy for you to apologize, and you will WANT to apologize. On the flip side, love means accepting an apology, and forgiving the other person, sometimes even before they've said the words "I'm sorry". 


But that's just what I think. What I KNOW is that I apologize and that I forgive. No one is perfect, and life is not always a smooth ride. Remorse and forgiveness I think is what lies at the core of the oft parodied quote from Love Story. 

Shut up and listen!

Isn't it amazing how each and every one of us like the sound of our own voice to the extent that we barely hear what others have to say? How often is it that you talk to someone and the minute they take a breath from their story you jump in with your own little anecdote that's barely related to the topic at hand? 

On the other edge of the knife, how often don't we feel that we're not being heard? When we say one thing and the person we're talking to responds in such a manner that it leaves you wondering whether or not they heard what you said at all? 

Communication gaps are things we all experience in this day and age due to the fact that we all wish to be heard but we rarely take the time ourselves to bloody listen. How can you expect to drown out the masses if you don't take the time to listen to a lone voice, who might actually hear what you have to say?

True communication starts with the ability to hear what another person has to say. That individual may then just return the favor in kind, by actually shutting the hell up and listening to what you have o say. But should we all continue to shout, as loudly as we can then no one is hear and everyone feels unappreciated and ignored, the basis of the millions in dollars made by shrinks world wide. 

For once, today, just take 5 minutes and actually LISTEN to the person next to you instead of single mindedly focusing on what you want to say next. I f everyone everywhere can do this, maybe we won't end up feeling so screwed up. 

Kaliah’s Story

Kaliah’s Story

Patience is a virtue

Scenario 1: You're working late. You have a deadline and a boss that will figuratively kill you should you not make that deadline. You're grinding away, and because you're a decent person you duly inform your significant other that you will be home late and that they shouldn't wait up for you. In the meantime, unbeknownst to you, they have prepared a surprise romantic dinner, which will now simply be food drying out in the oven until you get home. You finally arrive home, and you find your significant other pouting on the couch. Of course, should you dare ask what's wrong, you will not get a straight answer. No no no, you have to now guess why they're upset. And an argument might ensue. 

Scenario 2: You're schedule has thrown you for a loop and you haven't been able to enjoy the social life you had a mere couple of months ago. Your friends invite you to social gatherings but you often can't make it due to a myriad of reasons. Your friends understand at first, but then slowly they start to resent the fact that you can't make it to the party.They remain your friends, and they love you, but they are slightly miffed. 

Both of the above illustrate how, we as people, take it personally and seriously when those important to us don't or can't cater to our needs as we would like it. And it happens without exception. It happens in both romantic and platonic relationships. It happens in families and between friends. It happens at work, between colleagues. It's part of the human condition. But it is something that has increased in recent years due to the fact that we live in an instant gratification, short attention span society. Patience is a virtue the world as a whole no longer possesses.  And it is something that we need to address in a pro-active manner, and we can all start with the little things, such as the following:

• Do not bite your waiter's head off if you're entree is taking ten minutes longer than expected. The food is the responsibility of the chef. If it becomes unreasonably delayed, calmly request the presence of the manger and complain to him, still NOT biting anyone's head off. 
• Do not throw call signs and shake fists in the middle of rush hour. EVERYONE is tired, they all wish to get home in one piece and if you can't take a detour, put on some nice music and relax on the drive home. If a taxi cuts you, do not hoot and shout, simply ask your passenger, if you have one, to take down the car's call sign and then calmly report the reckless driver to the authorities. 
• Do not tap your foot in an irritating manner if you're standing in a line, whether at the store, the bank or the ATM. Rather take a breath, put on some music on your phone or mp3 player and and enjoy your own personal soundtrack to life. Alternatively, invest in a Gameboy or PSP and play games while you wait. Life's too short to be annoyed. 
• Don't take it as a personal affront if a loved one is late. Simply point out to them in a nice way that it's not the best manners to display by being late, and that if everyone is on time, then there's that much more time for doing the fun things you want to do together. 

Essentially, at the end of the day, you want to enjoy your life and not feel as if your rushing through it. Remember, the final destination is death, and do you REALLY want to get there THAT quickly? Enjoy the journey. After all, what's chasing you?

Expectations and judgment

It's amazing how different people are in their expectations and regarding their hopes and dreams.  For example, for one person, seeing 2 lines on a stick signifies a lifetime achievement, a desire being finally fulfilled. For others, seeing one line is such a massive relief, it's like a cool breeze on a bloody hot summer's day. 

Essentially, we must remind ourselves on a daily basis that we are different from the people that walk past us on the street, the people at the next table in our favorite restaurant, the people sitting in the cubicle next to you at the office. and because of said differences we must learn to accept that we might not always be able to comprehend why they do what they do, or say what they say, or act the way they act. We must accept that those differences exist for a reason and that we will never understand the reason. 

Ultimately, we are each our own person, but we live in the world, not simply on it. Thus, we need to learn to control our expectations of other mere mortals around us. And especially, we must refrain from judging should our (often unspoken) expectations not be met. Perhaps then peace may actually reign.